Coffee Meetings Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

540 Results for Coffee Meetings

View 101 - 110 results for coffee meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory lunchtime meetings, #life work balance, #high five, #Catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no raise, #not enough questions, #meetings, #care about job, #thirst for knowledge, #likes wood

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moral money, #doing hood, #buy prodcuts, #logo, #coffee mug, #ten million dollars, #morale dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Introducing 'Morale Money.' Now you can earn money for doing good work." The Boss continues, "You can use it at the company store to buy products that have our logo." Dilbert is at the company store's cash register holding a mug. The employee says, "The coffee mug costs ten million morale dollars."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice in charge, #drink coffee, #insulting, #man hating supervisor, #hates men, #picks on wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #added coffee, #carpet, #coffee stain, #mans face, #miracle, #squirrel body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meetings, #late for meetings, #ten minutes, #stupid stuff, #fine work, #noticing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #division, #unusually profictable, #targets impossibly high, #profit target, #sabotage profits, #stop customers, #wasteful spending, #leadership training, #class, #stick out coffee mug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the Boss, and Wally are at a meeting. The Boss says: "Our division is unusually profitable this year." He turns to Dilbert: "That means our targets for next year will be set impossibly high." He turns to Wally: "Our only hope of reaching our profit target next year..." He continues: "...is to sabotage profits for the rest of this year." He explains further: "It's too late to stop customers from buying our products." He continues: "So we'll focus on increasing wasteful spending." The Boss puts his hand on Wally's shoulder and tells him: "Wally, I'm sending you to a leadership training class." After the meeting, Wally sticks out his coffee mug and asks Dilbert, "Did you ever stick out your coffee mug and just follow where it took you?"