Competition (Psychology) Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
237 Results for Competition (Psychology)
View 101 - 110 results for competition (psychology) comic strips. Discover the best "Competition (Psychology)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 21,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, coaching, angry, boos, employee, attitude, business, psychology
Transcript
Boss: I stopped by to do some coaching. Dilbert: How's that work when the employee is more capable than the coach in every conceivable way? Boss: Let's start with your attitude. Dilbert: Said the angry guy.
Monday November 26,
2012
Tags happiness, work ethic, busy work, cheerful, form of insanity, worthless assignments, professional help, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I completed the busywork you assigned to me and I'm still cheerful! I don't know how I do it. I really don't. I assume it's a form of insanity. Do you have more worthless assignments I could do before I seek professional help? Boss: Yup.
Thursday December 06,
2012
Tags happiness, work ethic, career advice, work hard, destroy helath, personal life, happiness advice, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.
Tuesday January 29,
2013
Tags happiness, questioning, employees are happiest, jobs give meaning, sense of meaning, bag of organ meat, draped over, electric fence, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.
Thursday February 14,
2013
Tags depression (mental state), work ethic, underling, long hours, insane workload, fatigue, depression, organ failure, greetings, how are you?, psychology
Transcript
Boss: How's it going, underling? Dilbert: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression, and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month. Boss: When did people stop saying "fine?"
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags happiness, work ethic, workplace happiness, direct deposit, mental distance, effort, paycheck, no clear goal, doing good work, job satisafaction, stress related problems, highly demotivated, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Saturday February 09,
2008
Tags competition, mocking, salvage joy, work, five year plan
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."
Wednesday August 13,
2008
Tags therapy, addiction, job posting, dung beetlke, epileptic cow, disturbing imagery, couch, shrink, current job, unsatifying, psychology
Transcript
A woman says, "How long have you been addicted to ogling online job postings?" Alice says, "It started when I realized my current job is like a dung beetle trying to mate with an epileptic cow." The woman says, "That imagery is disturbing." Alice says, "I know, right?"
Wednesday April 21,
2010
Tags email, document, attachment, attitude, cross arms, care about time, pay stub, smile, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."
Friday June 18,
2010
Tags therapy, cellphone, apps, crazy, marketing, steve jobs, worried, lie down, business, psychology
Transcript
Tina says, "I can't stop buying phone apps that I don't need. Am I crazy?" Therapist says, "Yes, you are totally batspit crazy. You'll need many sessions." Therapist says, "Steve Jobs isn't the only one who can do marketing."

