Corporate Vision Comic Strips - Page 11

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136 Results for Corporate Vision

View 101 - 110 results for corporate vision comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Vision" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

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Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #bad news, #coporate marathon, #26 miles, #run marathon, #tomorrow

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I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"We're off to see the Wizard of Landfill. He'll give you some ambition and he'll show me how to get home." "Can we go too? I need experience...And he needs a brain, heart, soul, and a strategic vision." "No I don't. You're fired!" "And a job...I need a job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My PowerPoint presentation is a vision of beauty and persuasion." "It will make engineers weep, and profits will rain down from the sky." "Jeepers. What kind of limping scrod is that?" "The good kind!"

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Is it difficult to transition from leading troops in combat life to the corporate life? "WHERE ARE THE PRODUCT SPECS?!!" "The main difference is that it's harder to get good intel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I finished all of my projects in one day." "I also reconfigured the network, wrote seven white papers and applied for nine patents." "Are you naked or am I developing X-ray vision?" "Give a thought to decaf."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"...And I work there as an engineer." "Go away. I lost $3,000 when your company restated its earnings." "Tonight I was rejected for corporate malfeasance." "I'll add it to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I had a productive time at the management retreat." "We golfed as hard as we could until we came up with a new vision for the company!!!" "But no one wrote it down, so we're going to try again next month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #tablet computer, #dime sized computer, #lick it, #attach to eyeballs, #fail, #fast fail, #finish in month

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CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.