Dead Person Comic Strips - Page 11
398 Results for Dead Person
View 101 - 110 results for dead person comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Person" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 16, 2012's comic on:
Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?
Share September 25, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.
Share June 02, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.
Share July 08, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."
Share July 09, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."
Share November 24, 2008's comic on:
The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?
Share February 06, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Where's our pointy-haired boss?" Carol says, "Dead." Carol says, "I canceled his security clearance, so he went into hiding in the ductwork. By now he's probably gotten stuck and starved to death." Carol says, "I plan to cremate his remains, but it might take a while; the thermostat only goes up to 85."
Share February 08, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss is stuck in our building's ductwork and presumed dead." Dilbert says, "We can alert the proper authorities, or we can design a totally cool device to increase the duct pressure and propel his carcass into the stratosphere." Alice says, "You had me at 'carcass.'"
Share February 09, 2010's comic on:
Boss is stuck in the ductwork. Dilbert says, "The turbo blower kicks in after the lubricant cycle." Dilbert says, "We're sure he's already dead, right?" The Boss says, "Help!" Alice says, "Arguably, the real crime here would be building a machine this cool and not using it." The Boss says, "Can anyone hear me?"
Share February 13, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Do you think he's really dead?" Alice says, "I brought a wooden stake just in case." Dilbert says, "Me too, just in case the afterlife rejects him." Wally says, "It's legal, right?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Spouse?" Wife says, "Did anyone think to bring a mallet?"