District Manager Comic Strips - Page 11

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166 Results for District Manager

View 101 - 110 results for district manager comic strips. Discover the best "District Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bucky the project manger, #assignment, #painfully difficult, #unnecessary, #complaining to boss

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Bucky approaches Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager." Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, Bucky says to him "Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary." Bucky continues, "If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #server job, #abusive customer, #kindness, #tablecloth

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The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #gained empathy, #im not a loser, #promoted, #noble little people

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe it's a good thing that I was demoted to work among you noble little people." The Boss continues, "I have gained valuable empathy that will serve me well if I ever become a manager again." Carol walks past and says, "You've been promoted." The Boss exclaims, "Yee- Ha!! I'm not a loser!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accounting records, #congress, #erasing memories, #impenetrable complications, #management, #outside firm, #project team, #hit head, #hammer on head, #knocked on head, #Politics

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, my project team has added impenetrable complications to our accounting records." Dilbert says to The Boss, "And an outside firm is erasing all memories from senior management." The Boss asks, "How do they do that?" Dogbert holds a hammer. He says to a manager with a huge bump on his head, "Okay, you're ready to talk to congress." The injured manager replies, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spend it, #can't tell budget, #whats company strategy

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A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #pecking order, #fool, #stupid, #Dilbert, #coffee cup

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The Boss stands in front of his manager's desk. The manager yells, "You fool! How could you be so stupid!" The Boss approaches Dilbert and yells, "You fool! How could you be so stupid!" Dilbert picks up his coffee mug and yells, "You stupid coffee mug!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted

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The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #mother and son, #cooking, #cooking show, #televsion, #too much salt, #mad mom, #complaining, #mom questions

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Dilmon: Have you made your mother proud by becoming a manager? Dilbert: No Have you made your son proud by hosting a cooking show on television? You could call the show "cooking with too much salt" Dilmon: How did you get this way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #have plan, #division perfromance, #worst division, #average performance, #merge

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The boss: I have a plan to avoid paying division performance bonuses. I'll merge our group with the worst division so our average performance is lower. her- hee! I should be eay because every division manager is already begging to merge with me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #salesman, #questions, #best running shoe, #sneakers are sneakers, #far superior, #expensive ones

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SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"