Drain Hope Comic Strips - Page 11

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303 Results for Drain Hope

View 101 - 110 results for drain hope comic strips. Discover the best "Drain Hope" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #corporate trainer, #class, #sharing segment, #grim downsizer

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Ratbert stands on a chair and says, "Let's go around the room and say who we are and what we hope to get out of the class." The Grim Reaper, Wally, a man and a woman sit at a conference table. The Grim Reaper says, "I'm the Grim Downsizer. I'm here to decruit the entire training department plus all of the people who have time to attend classes." Wally says, "My name is Dilbert. I'm here in place of Wally who is working hard to build a better tomorrow." The man next to Wally says, "I'm somebody else too." The Grim Reaper says, "Nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business like christianity, #faithful and obidient, #obtain bliss, #afterlife, #reincarnation model, #higher level employment, #bio degrade, #become wd40, #dinosuar

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Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement." Dogbert continues, "Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere." Dogbert continues, "These analogies aren't working for you, are they, Bob?" Bob replies, "My hope is that one day I will biodegrade and become 'WD-40' oil."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bold commando, #relocates pc, #thwarting union rules, #moving computer, #police catch dilbert, #jailtime

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Dilbert wears a black hooded suit and carries a PC. He thinks, "The bold commando stealthily relocates his PC at night, thus thwarting burdensome union rules." A security guard pulls a gun on Dilbert and says, "Freeze, miscreant." Dilbert stands in a jail cell with two large men. He thinks, "I hope this works." One of the convicts says, "You don't look like Johnny Cash to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #rather the consultant, #strategy optuons, #matrix, #four boxes, #something, #phase two, #concentric circles, #labels and arrows

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Ratbert stands in front of a dry erase board and says, "Your strategy options can be shown in this matrix." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table listening to the presentation. Ratbert continues, "The four boxes are 'Something . . . Something . . . Some other thing and whatever.'" Ratbert continues, "In phase two I hope to turn this matrix into concentric circles with labels and arrows." The Boss thinks, "I'm under the consultant's spell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #asap, #a stupid acting person, #deadlines, #embarrasing

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The Boss says, "Alice, I need this ASAP." Alice asks, "ASAP? Does that stand for A Stupid-Acting Person, i.e., someone who ignores tasks until the deadline?" The Boss walks away thinking, "That was embarrassing. I hope the other things I say don't mean anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cloud of doom, #overlook, #lighting strikes, #meeting, #business

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Asok, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I need everyone's help on this project. I hope you can overlook the cloud of doom that hovers nearby." The cloud floats over their heads. A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes Wally in the head. Wally falls over in his chair. Dilbert says, "Wow. It's lucky that wasn't someone we like." Asok looks frightened as the cloud heads toward him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #guiding prciples, #network architecture, #obvious ideas, #techno jargon, #unclear writing, #suspenders, #muddles thinking

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Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with man who has a beard and is wearing suspenders. The man says, "I put together some guiding principles for our network architecture." Alice says, "I sure hope this isn't a bunch of obvious ideas disguised with techno-jargon and unclear writing." Dilbert whispers, "Let the games begin." Alice says to the man, "So tell me, do suspenders cause muddled thinking or is it the other way around?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #plastic, #surgery, #decision, #nobody, #toucan sam, #cafeteria, #intern, #janet, #lips, #puffed, #tethered, #snorted

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A woman with a huge nose tells Dilbert and Wally, "I've decided to have plastic surgery." Dilbert replies, "Frankly, I think it's the right decision." Dilbert continues, "Maybe then nobody will call you 'Toucan Sam' behind your back in the cafeteria every day." Wally says, "Ooh, and remember when the summer intern left?" Wally continues, "The joke was 'Maybe Janet accidentally snorted him up her nose.'" Janet says, "Actually, I'm only going to have my lips puffed." Wally whispers, "I hope the nurses are tethered down." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his head. He tells Dogbert, "I got off easy . . . Poor Norman got snorted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #father, #baby, #pictures, #tons, #compliments, #shallow, #beautiful, #model, #misunderstanding, #sincerity

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Wally tells Dilbert, "Uh-oh . . . New father coming this way." Wally says, "I'm out of here." A man says, "Hi, Dilbert. Have you seen my baby pictures yet?" Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to come up with tons of compliments or I'll seem shallow." Dilbert looks at the photographs and says, "This is the most beautiful baby in the universe. Looks just like you. She should be a model." Dilbert looks at the next photo and says, "Wait . . . This picture looks different. Did you have two babies?" The man replies, "The first picture was our pug dog, Winston. It got in there by mistake." Dilbert says, "I hope that little misunderstanding won't detract from the perceived sincerity of the following compliments . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #walk, #nature, #wonderful, #planet, #children, #strangers, #borrow, #collateral, #smoking, #shell, #overlooked, #Environment, #situation, #want, #selfish

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Nature is so wonderful . . ." Dilbert continues, "They say we don't leave the planet to future generations, we borrow it from our children." Dogbert says, "It's even better than that." Dogbert continues, "WE don't have children, so we're borrowing the planet from complete strangers!" Dogbert continues, "And there's no collateral. We can use up the planet, have great lives and leave an empty smoking shell to the strangers!" Dogbert continues, "I tell you, people have completely overlooked the positive side of this environment situation." Dilbert says, "But someday I WANT to have children." Dogbert replies, "Let's hope they're not as selfish as you."