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Wally Doesn't Open Email

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Wally Doesn't Open Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #aversion, #avoiding, #communication, #email, #evasion, #excuse, #work ethic

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Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.

How Long For New Feature

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How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #legacy, #deception, #engineer, #programmer, #engineering

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Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

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Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #project, #excuse, #procrastinate, #delay

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Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Bug In The Platform

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Bug In The Platform - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness, #proof

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Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

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Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #narcolepsy, #doctor's note, #excuse, #laziness, #nap, #sleep, #health

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Wally's Dental Excuse

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Wally's Dental Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic

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Tina: Wally, I need your input on my project plan. Wally: One moment, please. I have to check my spreadsheet to see which excuses I already used with you. Tina: I'll need a good one to get past my anger. Wally: Hmmm... maybe something dental.

No Calendar Needed

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No Calendar Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #calendar, #excuse, #avoidance

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Man: Do you have time to check my design? Wally: Let me see. Nope. Man: Did you just check your calendar? Wally: With my system, I don't need a calendar.

Blamecatcher

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Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

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Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

All Robots Quit

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All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

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Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.