Executives Comic Strips - Page 11

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135 Results for Executives

View 101 - 110 results for executives comic strips. Discover the best "Executives" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero

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CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Work Harder Than The Competition

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Work Harder Than The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competitors, executives, helicopter, hypocrisy, hypocrite, rich people, super yacht, work ethic, work harder

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CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.

Hiring A Co Ceo

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Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money

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CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Dogbert The Third Ceo

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Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business tactics, ceos, executives, co ceo, third ceo, tiebreaker, fired, disagreement, new guy

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CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing

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Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, ceos, death, emotions, executives, bad news, publicity stunt, margins, died, medical

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Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

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Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages

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Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

Ceo Gets Rehired

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Ceo Gets Rehired - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dancing, executives, firing, payback, revenge, vengeance, rehired, ceo, security videos, happy dance, spasms

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CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?

Winning The Bid

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Winning The Bid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation

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Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

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No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules

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Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, executives, leadership, threat, internet, ruin journalist, off the record, reporters, bar conversation, negative article, criminally insane, brillaunet writer, venn diagram, technology

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Dilbert: There's a bad story about you on the Internet. Apparently, you described a plan to "ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story" about us. CEO: That was off the record! Dilbert: You said it in front of a dozen reporters at a business event. CEO: It was just bar conversation. I was making a point about fairness. Dilbert: Hmmm... but now no sane writer would write a negative article about us. I can't tell if you're a brilliant leader or criminally insane. CEO: I'd show you the Venn diagram they gave us in CEO school, but it just looks like a circle.