Future Trends Comic Strips - Page 11
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120 Results for Future Trends
View 101 - 110 results for future trends comic strips. Discover the best "Future Trends" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 08,
2013
Tags #death & dying, #negotiating, #work ethic, #raise, #workload, #incentive, #work harder, #disgruntled, #no meaning, #dreams lie broken
Transcript
Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.
Sunday September 22,
2013
Tags #embarras myself, #emotional meltdown, #panicked, #public speaking, #substance abuse, #worry
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm panicked about my presentation tomorrow. Wally: Relax. What's the worst that could happen? Dilbert: Well, I could embarrass myself in a career-ending way. Wally: Oh. I didn't think about that one. It might be so bad that you can't even get a recommendation for a future job. Then you'd have an emotional meltdown followed by substance abuse, untreated health issues, and a lonely death. And it could all happen because of something as trivial as a typo on one of your slides. I guess I can add "comforting" to my list of things I'm no good at.
Saturday December 14,
2013
Tags #distress, #work ethic, #managers meet, #effectiveness, #promotions, #boss fight for
Transcript
Boss: When the managers meet to talk about promotions, I'll fight for you. Alice: Are you saying my future depends on your effectiveness and not mine? Boss: This went differently than I expected. Alice: Why?! Why?! Why?!
Sunday January 05,
2014
Tags #happiness, #new philosophy, #live for today, #motto, #avoid starving tomorrow, #ruin every minute, #living in past, #gustave, #traded beaver pelts, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I'm trying out a new philosophy for my life. My new motto is "Live for Today." Wally: If you live for today, how will you avoid starving tomorrow? If you do one little thing wrong today, it could ruin every minute of the rest of your life. Asok: So... I should live for the future. Wally: No, that would ruin today. I recommend living for the past. Asok: My past was no fun. Wally: Pretend you were someone else. Asok: My philosophy is that my name was Gustav and I traded beaver pelts. Dilbert: Stop ruining my present.
Wednesday July 23,
2014
Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious
Transcript
CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.
Thursday February 26,
2015
Asok Loses Money On Boss's Advice
Tags #Advice, #experience, #stock market, #lost savings, #past perfromance, #further returns, #money
Transcript
Asok: I followed your investment advice and lost all of my savings in the stock market. Boss: Did I mention that past performance is not an indication of future returns. Asok: Then... how does "advice" actually work? Boss: It only works for the people that give it.
Saturday May 16,
2015
Boss Gets Standing Desk
Thursday July 16,
2015
Advice Capture Device
Tags #deception, #trick, #invention, #Advice, #silence, #gullible, #guile
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented headphones that will record all of your advice as you dispense it. This way it will be preserved for future generations. Wally: He thinks we can hear him? Dilbert: He also thinks it is recording.
Saturday August 08,
2015
The World Always Needs Bankers
Tags #banking, #big business, #college, #crime, #debt, #future, #hope, #job, #money, #robot, #robots, #stealing, #business, #education
Transcript
Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.
Tuesday September 08,
2015
Ted Has A Bad Feeling
Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy
Transcript
Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.