Goat Writing Autobiograohy Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

132 Results for Goat Writing Autobiograohy

View 101 - 110 results for goat writing autobiograohy comic strips. Discover the best "Goat Writing Autobiograohy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #writing, #newsletter, #ridicule, #angry, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #response, #customer service, #ridiculous, #ridicule, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #therapy, #ignoring, #lying down, #thinking, #complaining, #writing, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #long email, #waste of time, #deleted, #free to tell, #contents, #without reducing prodcutivity, #improving communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Did you read my long e-mail?" Dilbert says, "Not yet. What's it about?" Coworker says, "I can't say." Coworker says, "If I tell you what I wrote, the effort I put into writing the e-mail will be transformed into a waste of time." Dilbert says, "I just decided to delete your e-mail before reading it. Therefore it is already wasted." Dilbert says, "You are now free to tell me its contents without reducing your productivity." Coworker says, "Oh. Okay." Coworker says, "It was something about improving communication. But I worded it better." Coworker says, "Maybe you should read it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #attend meeting, #mandatory meeting, #meeting mandatory, #approval, #bending rules, #handed out cash

View Transcript

Transcript

"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new ustomer, #sign it, #write it, #valable time, #trapped in endless loop, #criticized, #start over, #write letter yourslef

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, I want you to write a letter to our new customer." Dilbert follows The Boss down the hall. The Boss continues, "I'll tell you what to say, then you'll go write it and I'll sign it." The Boss sits at his desk and continues, "This way I won't waste my valuable executive time." He pauses and then continues, "It's efficient." Dilbert responds, "Yes, that's one possible outcome." He pauses and then continues, "Here's another." Dilbert continues, "You'll keep forgetting to mention important things that should be in the letter." Dilbert continues, "I'll be trapped in an endless loop of writing, tracking you down, getting criticized and starting over." Dilbert continues, "Or you could simply write the letter yourself and save us both a huge hassle." The Boss responds, "In paragraph one, say something like 'Hi.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #advertise, #dogberts, #magazine, #piece of junk, #stand on head, #subscribe, #ten page ad, #totally objective review, #technology magazine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm a reporter for 'Dogbert's Technology Magazine'." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm writing a totally objective review of your newest product." Dogbert says to The Boss, "First question: Will you advertise in my magazine or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "Um... We'll advertise." Dogbert continues, "Will it be a multi-page ad or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "It'll be a ten-page ad!" Dogbert says to The Boss, "Can you stand on your head for an hour or is your new product a piece of junk?" As The Boss stands on his head, Dogbert says, "Would you like to subscribe to my magazine? It's ten pages of ads."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #hand writing, #answer questions, #return calls, #i'll be away, #bad odor, #windy, #phantom, #monkeys, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pops into Dilbert's cubicle and hands him a piece of paper. The Boss says, "Dilbert, take care of this. It's urgent." Dilbert responds, "I can't read your handwriting. What does it say?" The Boss responds, "I don't have time to answer your questions." The Boss continues, "Don't try to call me. I don't return calls." The Boss continues, "If you come to my office I'll be away." Headline: And then, like a bad odor on a windy day, the phantom manager vanished." Dilbert gives the note to Carol. She says, "I think it says, 'Floog smort olak munta hawthnort." Dilbert asks, "What does it mean?" Carol responds, "I think it involves monkeys and duct tape."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #business book, #change happens, #forward, #meds filler, #parable, #picnic, #served as hamburgers, #two bulls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, busily typing, says to Dilbert, "I'm writing a business book called 'Change Happens. Get Over It'." Dilbert says, "The title says it all." Dogbert says, "Yeah. It needs filler." Dilbert says, "How about a parable?" Dogbert says, "Good idea." Dogbert types, "Two bulls were talking." Dogbert continues typing, "One bull says, 'I'm afraid of change'." Dogbert continues typing, "The other bull says, 'Get over it'." Dogbert continues typing, "Later that day they were both ground into hamburgers and served at a picnic." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The hard part will be finding someone to write the foreword."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #writing, #incompressible note, #flermmed th eplootash, #communication, #boss, #emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed