Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"
dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent.
ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power.
dilbert: you're not a good mind reader
ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that
boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent.
co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!!
Carol: how'd he take it?
Boss: grab some paper towels.