Half Empty Comic Strips - Page 11
188 Results for Half Empty
View 101 - 110 results for half empty comic strips. Discover the best "Half Empty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 21, 2000's comic on:
The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."
Share December 21, 2000's comic on:
Wally, pouring a cup of coffee, says to Dilbert, "I'm thinking of adopting an incomprehensible accent so people won't ask me questions." Dilbert asks Wally as he returns the empty coffee pot to the warmer, "Um... Are you leaving that coffee pot empty right in front of me?" Wally says to Dilbert, "Meeyerna derna furna algonkin buhjoorna."
Share December 26, 2000's comic on:
A doctor is examining The Boss as Dilbert says, "I think he tried to meditate." The doctor says, "That's the problem." The doctor continues examining The Boss and says to Dilbert, "You shouldn't mix meditation with management. The mind gets too empty." Dilbert asks, "What can we do?" The doctor says, "I plan to rifle through his pockets."
Share December 29, 2000's comic on:
Catbert and Dilbert watch The Boss who is in a coma at his desk. Catbert says, "A manager's brain is like a pump. If it becomes empty you must prime it." Catbert says to Dilbert, "Whatever he learns first will form the foundation for all of his future perceptions." Catbert points at Dilbert and says to The Boss, "This guy has been talking smack about you." The Boss begins to come to, saying, "Unh..."
Share January 03, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert, The Boss and Topper are sitting at a conference table. Dilbert says, "My project will save the company a million dollars." Topper says, "Mine saves twenty million." Dilbert says, "My project will take a year to complete." The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "Mine takes a week." Dilbert says, "Topper, I have half a mind..." The Boss looks dazed as Topper twitches and says, "I have one percent of a mind."
Share May 30, 2001's comic on:
The Boss leans across a table and says to Dilbert, "I found the ultimate tool for the mobile professional." The Boss leans down in order to get it. He continues, "It's a combination PDA, phone, pager, digital camera, fax, e-mail, laptop and shredder." The Boss produces a large gadget, half the size of him and puts it on the table. He says, "It clips right to my belt!"
Share November 13, 2001's comic on:
Catbert is sitting on his desk. He says, "Your psychological profile test results are excellent. Can you start Monday?" A hairy, half dressed man carrying a knife replies, "Monday is fine. I'll read the employee handbook over the weekend." The hairy man says to Dilbert and Alice, "The 'gentle biker' look is overdone. I'm going for 'psycho hillbilly.'"
Share December 24, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to enhance stockholder value." Dilbert asks, "Do you ever feel that way?" Wally pours the entire coffee pot into his mouth: "Glug Glug Glug." Wally hands Dilbert the empty coffee pot. Dilbert says, "I'll take that as a No."
Share February 22, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."
Share May 09, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert, Asok, and Wally are eating lunch. Asok says, "My training CD has gone bad. It is brainwashing me to become a cyborg." Dilbert responds, "Don't worry. Smart people such as you can't be brainwashed to do stupid things." Asok has transformed into half cyborg. He approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess who doesn't know the first thing about brainwashing."