Hard Working Employee Comic Strips - Page 11
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1000 Results for Hard Working Employee
View 101 - 110 results for hard working employee comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Working Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 29,
1996
Tags #employee satisfaction survey, #department dismal, #assigning satisfaction, #task force, #problem solved
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "The results of the employee satisfaction survey are in. Scores for my department are dismal." The Boss continues, "I'm assigning you to the satisfaction task force until the problem is solved." Dilbert and Alice look upset. Dilbert says, "Please . . . Anything but that . . ." The Boss asks, "How satisfied are you NOW?"
Saturday July 20,
1996
Tags #update objectives, #need targets, #hard work, #support management, #picture
Transcript
Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"
Monday August 05,
1996
Tags #hunk, #burning love, #cubicle, #working, #sending steamy email, #send to all, #thank you
Transcript
Tina types, "Tom, you delicious hunk of burning love: if you were in my cubicle now I'd . . ." Tina thinks, "It looks as if I'm working. Nobody can tell that I'm sending steamy e-mail to my new boyfriend." Dilbert says to Tina, "Tina, two things: watch out for the 'send to all' address, and thank you very much." Dilbert's tie and his hair stand up straight.
Wednesday August 14,
1996
Tags #layoff list, #Wally, #claimed chair, #few minutes ago, #hard on survivors
Transcript
Ted says to Wally, "I hear you're on the layoff list, Wally. Has anyone claimed your chair yet?" A man says, "I claimed it a few minutes ago." Ted yells, "Liar!" As the two men fight, Wally says, "I guess it's true what they say about layoffs being hard on the survivors."
Thursday August 15,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #contract employee, #rehired, #higher salary, #downsized, #dumb, #hire third time, #parable, #ant and spider, #both boring
Transcript
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and says, "I was fired once, but I came back as a contract employee. Later I was rehired at a higher salary." Wally continues, "Now I'm being downsized again. Do you think they'll be dumb enough to hire me a third time?" Dogbert says, "Your story reminds me of the parable of the ant and the spider." Wally asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "They're both boring."
Friday August 23,
1996
Tags #all year, #asok the intern, #awards, #built unit, #design, #minor change, #weekend, #working, #half cost
Transcript
The caption says, "Asok the Intern." Dilbert, Alice, Asok and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I came in over the weekend and looked at the design you've been working with all year." Asok continues, "It turns out that you could have built the unit at half the cost with just one minor change." Asok continues, "Is it true I can win awards for this sort of thing?" Alice whispers to Wally, "Fetch the internapult."
Wednesday September 11,
1996
Tags #team building, #exercise, #solve problems, #working sundial, #pencil, #donut, #make any differnce, #health
Transcript
Dogbert says to Alice, Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This next exercise will challenge your ability to solve problems as a team." Dogbert says, "Build a working sundial using only a pencil and a donut." Four hours later, the Boss says with his mouth full, "One more bite isn't going to make any difference." The pencil lies next to a pile of crumbs on the table. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Saturday October 12,
1996
Tags #humiliate employees, #employee recognition, #worthless award, #pocket lint, #better job
Transcript
Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "When I'm in a bad mood, I like to think of ways to humiliate the employees." Catbert thinks, "Hmm . . . How about an employee recognition program with a thoroughly worthless award." Catbert purrs. The Boss hands Dilbert a plaque and says, "It's pocket lint from a vice president's trousers. He was wearing them on the day he left for a better job."
Friday November 15,
1996
Tags #long range career goal, #arm wrestle, #have job in six months, #working for her, #women college, #confident and assertive
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert asks, "If you were hired, what would be your long-range career goals?" The woman replies, "I'd have your job in six months. In a year you'd be working for me, you big pile of dinosaur dung." Dilbert looks at the woman's resume and says, "I see you attended an all women's college. Does that make you more confident and assertive?" The woman puts her elbow on the table and says, "Either arm. Let's go."
Tuesday November 19,
1996
Tags #decided, #start smoking, #add interesting edge, #personality, #need help, #personal magnetism, #erase hard drive, #psychology
Transcript
Wally tells Alice, "I've decided to start smoking. I'll be able to take more breaks that way." Wally continues, "And frankly, I'm hoping it will add an interesting edge to my personality and help me socially." Alice reaches into a box. Wally continues, "Not that I need any help." Alice says, "I can only pray that your personal magnetism won't erase my hard drive."