Hate Earth Comic Strips - Page 11

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367 Results for Hate Earth

View 101 - 110 results for hate earth comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Earth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

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Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags earth, mistake, plants, technology, inventions, atmosphere

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, ceo, research, nonsense, hurricans, birds, noted, polar bears, hate, snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Reporting To Two Managers

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Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate

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boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Show Interest In Employees

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Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question

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alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Rot From The Inside

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Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise

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boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?

Ceo Does Math

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Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, diseases, earth, humans, sarcasm, pandemic, virus

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CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Hate Edits

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Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, office workers, sarcasm, edit

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Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.

No Mask For Zoom Call

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No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, zoom, video conferencing, face mask, clinical, study, easy, hate, coffee

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dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

Wally Hates His App

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Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, application, stop, fix, hate, developers, need, problem solving

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wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.