Ignorance (Knowledge) Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for ignorance (knowledge) comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance (Knowledge)" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags knowledge is power, crush you

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Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quick question, innocent work realted, question, try to impress, knowledge of engineering, pathetic hope, value, intelligence, physical appearence, red bmw, lights on

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Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags create software, small investors, pick stocks, past trends, hubris, ignorance, testimonials

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Dogbert: I'm creating software that will help small investors pick stocks. "It combines past trends that are not indicative of the future with the user's hubris and ignorance." "Now all I need are testimonials from people whose results are not typical!" Dilbert: "So it works?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project wombat, project manager, inviting me, expertise, knowledge of expertise

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Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags knowledge, authority, make decsions, misinterpret, build

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Dilbert: Does anyone here have any knowledge or any authority to make decisions? woman: "I'm only here to listen and misinterpret." "Let's try to build on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags behind schedule, created without knowledge, future, wild guesses, surrigates, knowledge, project dealines, trade, show dates, failure assured, apologize, budgets are created

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you explain why your project is behind schedule?" Dilbert answers, "Yes. A schedule is an artificial device created without knowledge of the future." Dilbert goes on to say, "Wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Project deadlines ae tied to trade show dates instead of reality." Dilbert continues his explanation, "Then management cuts the budget until failure is assured." Dilbert says to the Boss, "I assume you called me here so you can apologize for your role in all this." The Boss sits in his chair looking puzzled and amazed. Dilbert then asks the Boss, "Would you like to hear how budgets are created?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, scientist, planet zorp, technolgies, engineers, transfer knowledge, work, fabric covered container, business, science

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Scientist: I am a scientist from the planet Zorp. I bring you technologies beyond your imagination. All I ask is that you let me work with your engineers to transfer this knowledge. They think 'work' means sitting in a fabric-covered container.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, honesty, fester, hatred, pale doughy body, tree of knowledge, falls on head, die ironically

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Boss: Carol, if you have any issues, just be honest. Don't let anything fester. Carol: I hate every subatomic particle in your pale, doughy body. I hope the tree of knowledge falls on your head so you die ironically. Boss: I need to rethink my no-festering rule. Carol: Tree of knowledge... get it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags betray ignorance, complicated scle, experience the illusion, technical report

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Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss calls, vacation, counter productive policies, victims of ignorance

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The Boss says, "Is everything okay since I left for vacation?" Carol says, "Better than ever." Carol says, "Counterproductive policies have been eliminated, and we are no longer victims of ignorance." The Boss thinks, "Man, I don't like the sound of that."