Insult Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
117 Results for Insult
View 101 - 110 results for insult comic strips. Discover the best "Insult" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 05,
2018
Boiling An Ocean
Tags compliment, backhanded compliment, insult, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: I told our boss his presentation had a low signal-to-noise ratio and he thought it was a compliment. Wally: I think you just invented my new favorite game. Working for you is like boiling an ocean. Boss: Thank you!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday July 06,
2018
No Plans To Reorganize
Tags reorganization, rumor, insult, logic
Transcript
Boss: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that management is thinking about reorganizing the department. But reorganizing would obviously be a smart thing to do. Dilbert: Then why are you not considering it? Boss: This is exactly why no one likes you.
Saturday July 21,
2018
What Classes To Be An Engineer
Tags intelligence, insult, Advice, logic, engineer, engineering
Transcript
Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags Advice, criticism, employees, insults, office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Friday September 27,
2019
Hypothetical Observer
Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Sunday November 10,
2019
What If You Are In A Coma
Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma
Transcript
phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.
Friday November 08,
2019
Wally Compared To A Placebo
Tags managers & supervisors, project, failure, coincidence, placebo, insult
Transcript
boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.
Friday December 06,
2019
Others Have Failed
Tags office workers, idea, technology, rodent, insult, cheese, business
Transcript
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese
Sunday September 06,
2020
Authority On Your Opinion
Tags business, office workers, disagreements, Opinion, sarcasm, change, debate, authority, hallucinating, lying, stupid, gaslight, insult, face mask
Transcript
co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

