Kill For Asking Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

315 Results for Kill For Asking

View 101 - 110 results for kill for asking comic strips. Discover the best "Kill For Asking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitors, #gadgets, #motorcycle, #smartphone, #threat, #worlds greatest

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #lie, #detector, #flushed, #goldfish, #abe lincoln, #president, #mistakes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert attaches wires to Dogbert's paws and head and says, "This lie detector will determine if you flushed my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "Name?" Dogbert answers, "Abe Lincoln." Dilbert asks, "Occupation?" Dogbert answers, "President." Dilbert asks, "Did you kill my fish?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "Lie detectors never make mistakes, do they?" Dilbert looks at the printout and says, "Uh . . . No, Mister President."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #tuition, #leverage, #paid, #alice, #tipping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ginger, #date, #puppetitis, #rare, #disorder, #puppet, #weird

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #Dilbert, #Wally, #jester, #costume, #the boss, #task force, #humor, #creativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally enters wearing a court jester costume. Dilbert asks, "What's the story with the costume, Wally?" Wally replies, "The Boss put me on a special task force to see if humor increases creativity. I have to dress like this for a month." Dilbert asks, "Are you feeling more creative?" Wally replies, "Yeah. I've already thought of six hundred ways to kill him,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #ratbert, #hole, #space, #bad, #minute, #passed, #dimension, #floating, #hundred, #thousand, #bored

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #promote, #technical, #primadonna, #disdain, #dummy, #inflatable, #question, #personal, #buddy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a desk chair and Dogbert stands on the desk. Dogbert says, "Your boss won't promote you to 'Technical Prima Donna' until you learn disdain for others." Dogbert says, "Pretend this inflatable dummy is a co-worker asking a question. See how long you can ignore it. I'll check back later." Dilbert whispers to the dummy, "Psst. Nothing personal, buddy. This is just practice." Dogbert yells, "Hey! Hey!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #jail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a jailroom. Dilbert says, "I bet I've gone to jail more than the average law-abiding citizen." Dogbert replies, "I plan to defend you by proving your victim was a temp worker." Dilbert asks, "It's legal to kill a temp? Really??" Dogbert says, "Now all we need is a jury of your 'peers.'"