Less Confident Comic Strips - Page 11

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274 Results for Less Confident

View 101 - 110 results for less confident comic strips. Discover the best "Less Confident" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #technical details, #idea, #deciosns, #people involved, #pale and poorly dressed, #business

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Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #electronic mail, #reschedule, #installation, #defense, #miscommunication, #email, #denial

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Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #budget, #contract employees, #training budget, #training, #contractor budget

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Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being freightened, #creepy vibe, #leadership, #obsolete, #public speaking, #sense of urgency, #thread the needle, #tech platforms

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Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #promote, #from within, #downside, #smaller pool, #candidates, #competitors, #ruination

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Boss: I like to promote from within. The only downside is that picking from a smaller pool of candidates will make us less capable than our competitors and lead the company to ruination. Do you want that? Dilbert: I see what you're doing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #service animal, #monkey, #coffee cup, #dignified, #coffee warm, #animals

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Carl: Thought being a service animal would be a noble calling. But I worry that our relationship has drifted into something less dignified. wally: Thats what keeps my coffee warm. CarL: I am so angry right now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absurd, #assumptions, #forecast, #meetings, #revenue forecst

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Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #car, #friends, #radio

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The caption says, "A friend is somebody who will not think less of you for singing the 'ooh-ooh!' part of a song on the radio." Dilbert and Dogbert ride in the car listening to the radio. Dilbert sings, "Oooh-oooh!!" The caption says, "Of course, friends will also feel free to express their musical opinions." Dilbert lies in a ditch as the car speeds off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flies, #dolphins, #killing, #aspca

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Dilbert kills a fly with a fly swatter. Dogbert asks, "Why is it okay to kill flies but not okay to kill dolphins?" Dogbert continues, "Is the poor fly any less deserving of our respect and protection?" Dilbert raises the fly swatter and says, "Hold still . . . There's a dolphin on your forehead." Dogbert says, "I've added the A.S.P.C.A. to our speed dialer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #straight, #bad, #grammar, #intellectuals

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."