Mail Yourself Home Comic Strips - Page 11
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A vendor says to Dilbert, "Our new version is a step backward in quality and reliability." The vendor continues, "We're counting on your irrational need to have the latest version of every software product." Dilbert responds, "I hate your weasel guts... but I'll take one for home and one for the office."
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, I'm sending you to an executive bodyguard class." The Boss continues, "You'll learn how to pounce on a kidnapper and sacrifice yourself to keep me safe." Carol responds, "I'm taking a class called, 'inside help.'" The Boss says, "I can't reimburse for that."
Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."
Wally is holding his letter up to the light. Dilbert says, "I've never seen anyone get this excited over a piece of junk mail." Wally responds, "I've never been on a mailing list before. This letter is a validation of my existence." Dilbert says, "It's not addressed to you." Wally replies, "I'll grant you that it's not a clean win."
Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "My morale sky-rocketed when I received my first-ever item of bulk mail." Wally continues, "I have designated it 'WM1' for 'Wally's Mail One' and it shall remain forever unopened. The Boss says, "Bulk mail is the same as junk mail." Wally says to the letter, "Don't listen to his lies, WM1."
Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."
Headline: Coffee Rehab. A nurse comes towards Wally and says, "No soda, no tea, no chocolate." Wally is clenching his teeth and sweating. The nurse continues, "You're allowed one piece of luggage and you have to carry it yourself." Wally runs past the nurse holding a huge coffee mug-shaped suitcase. The nurse says, "I might want to take a look inside that bag."
Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."
Alice says to the man in the apron, "Bobby, I'm looking for a stay-at-home husband to support my career." Bobby responds, "I'm sorry - I was thinking about chocloate, and I didn't hear a word you just said." Bobby walks away and says, "Br-r-r-r, I'm cold. Now I'm hot. Now I'm cold!" Alice thinks, "This will take some work."
Alice and Bobby are out to dinner. Alice says, "If we married, would you mind being a stay-at-home father?" Bobby responds, "I love children. That would be a very rewarding lifestyle." Alice says, "Okay, now imagine that there aren't any kids, and you're basically my unpaid servant." Bobby asks, "Could I iron?"