Marketing Biathlon Comic Strips - Page 11

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225 Results for Marketing Biathlon

View 101 - 110 results for marketing biathlon comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Biathlon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2006's comic on:


Tags #vp of marketing, #17 years, #lowering margins, #overseeing campaigns

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Bob will be leaving us after 17 years as vice president of marketing. "Bob's accomplishments include lowering both our margins and our sales while overseeing a series of confusing marketing campaigns." "I hope you'll all join me in wishing for a piano to fall on his head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2006's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

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We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2006's comic on:


Tags #marketing guru, #tractor sized mp3 players, #free ipod, #pricing

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The Marketing Guru "Consumers will buy our tractor-sized mp3 players if we offer something free with each one." "So we'll offer a free iPod with each sale, and free towing to the landfill for our mp3 player." "The rest is just pricing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #marketing wasn't cooperating, #come running, #probelms, #hyprocrsy, #set up

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Dilbert: You said to tell you if marketing wasn't cooperating. The Boss: You can't come running to me with every little problem. Go fix it. Dilbert: Then why did you tell me to tell you?! The boss: It's just something I say.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

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Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #economy, #sarcasm, #smart, #twice as smart, #survive economy, #spontaneously developing, #high iq, #pep talk, #worked in marketing, #see future

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The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #helen fry, #ombudsman, #devil, #no pupils, #blank eyes, #soul, #take, #marketing, #meeting, #asset, #volunteer, #excited, #raise hand, #lie, #business

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Asok says, "Our ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view." Asok says, "I'd like a transfer to marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset." Man says, "I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy." Asok says, "Ooh! Ooh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #reprimand, #sign-off, #marketing, #paper, #vivid memory, #unicorns, #false, #conversation, #business

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The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #therapy, #cellphone, #apps, #crazy, #marketing, #steve jobs, #worried, #lie down, #business, #psychology

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Tina says, "I can't stop buying phone apps that I don't need. Am I crazy?" Therapist says, "Yes, you are totally batspit crazy. You'll need many sessions." Therapist says, "Steve Jobs isn't the only one who can do marketing."