May Not Speak Comic Strips - Page 11

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233 Results for May Not Speak

View 101 - 110 results for may not speak comic strips. Discover the best "May Not Speak" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

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Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #technical questions, #ventriloquism, #ip router, #suppository configuration, #boss move lips, #business

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free tissues, #engineers, #tissue, #secretary, #desk, #box

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Dilbert stands by Carol's desk where a box of tissues sit. Dilbert says, "May I have a tissue?" Carol says, "NO!" Carols says, "Why should the low-paid secretary provide free tissues to engineers?" Wally walks by and says, "Hey, free tissues!" Carol clenches her fists and says, "Gaaa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hammerhead bob, #lunch, #clean room, #speak louder, #tables

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Caption: "Hammerhead Bob" A man with a hammer for head says, to Alice and Tina , "Are you going to lunch? I'll join you!" Hammerhead Bob, Alice and Tina sit at a table. Alice and Tina are in pain. Boob says, "...And that's why it's called a "clean room." But how clean is it really?" Bob says, "I'll speal louder in case the other table want in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee cup, #lovely mug, #difference, #cash equivalent, #mug

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The boss holds a cup and says, "Every emplyee gets a lovely mug with our new motto, "I mad a differernce:=." Dilbert sits between Alice and Wally and says, "Question: May I have the cash equivalent of the mug instead?" The boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "May I have a mug that says, "I didn't make a differance"?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low paid embryo, #so cute, #healthy, #teaching drink coffee

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Alice says to Wally as he leaves his cubicle, "I hear you're being replaced by a low-paid embryo. May I see it?" The embryo is on the table. A straw runs from the embryo ti a coffee mug. Alice says, "He is so-oo cute!" Wally says, "I'm teaching him to drink coffee." Alice says, "Is that healthy?" Wally says, "It must be. I drink six quarts a day, and look at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus is 5%, #don't feel bad, #salary, #salary differences, #the boss, #intern ages, #inequity, #allow to feel bad, #money

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The boss gives an envelope to Asok and says: "Asok, your bonus is only 5% this year.Don't feel bad; I only got 5% too." Asok says to the boss: "But 5% of your salary is four times more than 5% of my salary." Asok says to the boss: "May I feel bad about that?" The boss answers: "Sure. Go wild!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp stalks alice, #bouquet, #pencils, #fire secreatry, #vp, #no flowers

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VP Stalks Alice VP: I brought you a bouquet, Alice. Alice: Thats a bunch of pencils, not a flower bouquet. VP: Really? May I use your phone? I need to fire my secretary.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conditioning worsening, #easiest rounds, #home early, #layoffs, #storm, #trick

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The Boss types on his computer, "Due to worsening storm conditions, all 'non-essential' personnel may go home early." The Boss reaches in his desk drawer. The Boss peers out the window in his office through his binoculars and thinks to himself, "This will be the earliest round of layoffs ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive offices, #office too far, #forgetting you name, #move office, #secretary, #forgets boss

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Wally approaches the boss. Wally says, "Your office is too far from the executive offices." The boss says, "It is?" Wally says, "They are actively forgetting your name even as we speak. It's going..going..Gone!" The boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, we have to move my office!" Carol says, "Have we met?"