Mean Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticize coworkers, look smart, nuts, dogbert therapist, weekly sessions, run out of money, vure, therapy, paid by hour, fasle memory, aliens, psychology

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Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathrobe, 30% raise, dont quit, terry cloth rebel

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Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet business idea, sent idea, five companies, space

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The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags posterior, fat ass, chair, prnak, lied boss, like goldfish, big charis, big ass

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Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags didn't listen, good work, magazine, more assignments, new boss, boss, secretary

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Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new engineering liason, claims of meaning

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Wally approaches the Engineering Liaison and says, "I understand you're the new Engineering Liaison." Wally asks, "Does that mean what I think it means?" She does not reply. Wally says to Asok, "She claims it doesn't mean that." Asok replies, "Ohhh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags adventures of lulu, no sense of proportion, assinment, work, declares war, anger, resentment

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The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags begging for job, boss, callous, mean, office

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Ted, who has the letter 'E' painted on his chest, says to The Boss, "Catbert says I have to get a new job within the company." Ted says, "Could you find it within your heart..." The Boss, reaching for a heart on his desk, says, "I'll check." Ted watches as The Boss looks at the heart. The Boss says, "Nope. No jobs in there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags casula dress, encourage flirtatious, ladies concentrate, seater, turtleneck, warning cones

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Wally says to The Boss, "I worry that casual dress days encourage flirtatious behavior." Wally says, "I mean, look how adorable I am in my turtleneck sweater. How are the ladies supposed to concentrate?" Wally says to The Boss, "Do you think I should put warning cones around my cubicle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags must delight customoers, stop price gauging, stop selling defective products, talking about customers, delighting customers, empathy

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The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."