Search Results for "named in rats honor"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cats & kittens, #physics, #famous physicist, #zombie

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new procurement policy, #p.o.o.p., #thinking, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #thinking, #ceos technology challenge, #innovative ideas, #fresh water, #elbonia, #award winning ideas, #water in a box

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #temporary ceo, #c level suite, #employee realtions, #boss, #cubicle, #insulting, #receptionist, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #article about leadrship, #blog post, #get paid, #supportive, #lifes mysteries

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you read the article I forwarded about the ten things every leader should be doing? I defended your honor by writing a blog post saying you don't do any of those things and you still get paid. Boss: Why doesn't this feel supportive? Alice: That's one of life's little mysteries.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition, #engineers, #not fierce, #sex appeal, #sexiest, #welcome

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You have been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. At the risk of sounding unkind, the competition was not fierce. Dilbert: I'm one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Wally: Welcome to the club.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok

Thank you for voting.
Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.

Company Policy About Dating

Thank you for voting.
Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.