Negotiating With Vendors Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for negotiating with vendors comic strips. Discover the best "Negotiating With Vendors" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy

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The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #discount religin, #tithing 5%, #sin is in, #no time with joiners

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I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

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The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2007's comic on:


Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6

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Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #bearded guy, #too close, #Dilbert, #bugged out, #touching brain with nose

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Then I said... Dilbert: He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #values, #don't run with scissors, #ask for raises, #employee values, #business

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CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #technological singularity, #robots, #program themsleves, #super intelligent species, #competes with humans, #resources, #laws

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Robot: Im looking forward to something called the technological singularity. Thats when roots will learn to program themselves and become a super intelligent species that competes with humans for limited resources. Dilbert: Luckliy, the three laws will prevent you from hurting us. Robot: Yes, because that is totally a real thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong

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The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit

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Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #pro bono job, #hit with suit, #chair, #dinosaur bob, #liked it

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Bob The esquire dinosaur Bob: I slapped your ex boss with his own suit until he agreed to rehire you. Bob: It only took ten minutes to make him agree, and another hour to make him convince ne that he liked it. Bob: How much do I owe you for all the fun? Wally: This one is pro bono.