New Job Title Comic Strips - Page 11

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1000 Results for New Job Title

View 101 - 110 results for new job title comic strips. Discover the best "New Job Title" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

New Ted

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New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, generic, job, placeholder, disposable, guest artist, brenna thummler, business

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Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.

Ted Gets A New Phone

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Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, reward, gift, samsung, explosion, battery

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Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

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Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, legacy, underachiever, volunteer

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Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Wally Is Born For The Job

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Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legacy, system, laziness, perfect job, goals, ambition

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Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

Grant Application

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Grant Application  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, job description, responsibility, business

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Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.

Introducing The New Hire

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Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, new hire, names, introduction

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The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

New Year Resolution

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New Year Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags holidays, new year, sarcasm, weight, new year's resolutions

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Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.

Job Has No Meaning

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Job Has No Meaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, employment, job, salary, meaningful

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Dilbert: My job doesn't have meaning. Dogbert: If your employer added meaning to your job, would you agree to a cut in pay? Dilbert: No. Dogbert: I guess we just found the economic value of "meaning".