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My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"
woman: Before I get too invested in this conversation, tell me what you do for a living. Dilbert: I'm one of three people my boss asked to do the same assignment because he deems all of us unreliable. woman: This is why I ask. Dilbert: The other two people are total losers.
Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh
The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"
Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."
The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."
Dilbert: I'm going to a singles mixer tonight. Do you have any advice? Dogbert: Don't I always?" "It's all about knowing what a woman needs. Find a woman who looks hot, carve her out from the herd and read this. Dilbert: What is it?" Dogbert: It's the ultimate pick up line. Dilbert: Um...Hi. Excuse me. Criticism completes me. woman: He's a keeper.
Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."
Carl says, "Let's have lunch so I can tell you about our products." Dilbert says, "No thanks." Dilbert says, "I don't like meeting new people." Dilbert says, "Every person I meet chips away at my freedom." Dilbert says, "If I have lunch with you, I'll feel an obligation to return your pestering phone calls." Dilbert says, "My lunchtime is the only chance I get during the day to scrape off the leeches." Dilbert says, "Nothing personal." Woman says, "Do you want to have lunch and discuss our new product line?" Dilbert says, "Sure!" Dilbert says, "Carl, you are totally in the wrong profession."
The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.