Not Smart Enough Comic Strips - Page 11
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409 Results for Not Smart Enough
View 101 - 110 results for not smart enough comic strips. Discover the best "Not Smart Enough" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 31,
2019
Toxic Employee And Tina
Tags #business, #employees, #problem
Transcript
toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.
Wednesday November 06,
2019
Imperfect Decisions
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #vacation, #decision, #uninformed, #perfect, #good, #stupid, #smart, #enemy
Transcript
boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?
Friday April 10,
2020
Asok Confidence
Tags #asok, #business, #co-workers, #confidence, #enough, #fake, #room, #test
Transcript
ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?
Tuesday June 23,
2020
How To Identify Good Ideas
Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational
Transcript
dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.
Tuesday September 29,
2020
Critics Not Intelligent
Tags #intelligence, #office workers, #employees, #smart, #critics, #agreement, #face mask
Transcript
alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!
Monday November 02,
2020
Boss Ear Piece
Tags #answers, #blockchain, #business, #ear piece, #evil, #ignorance, #managers & supervisors, #smart, #technology
Transcript
boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.
Sunday April 03,
2011
Tags #executives, #interviews, #ceo's interview series, #company priftable, #credit, #overpaid and useless, #dumb employees, #highest bidder, #blackmail, #interview
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series
Sunday May 01,
2011
Tags #boats, #business ethics, #new boat, #engineers, #skills, #boss's boat, #picture, #nautical interests
Transcript
Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.
Friday January 21,
2011
Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)
Transcript
The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"
Sunday October 02,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy
Transcript
Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.