One Ear Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Ear

View 101 - 110 results for one ear comic strips. Discover the best "One Ear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ratio, one in eight, talking about work, count as wrok

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand drinking coffee and talking. Wally asks, "What's the ratio of work to gabbing that is still considered 'work'?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say one-in-eight, maybe one-in-nine." Wally agrees, "Sounds right." Dilbert pauses and asks, "Does talking about work count as work?" Wally replies, "Well, I'm not enjoying it."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cloning the boss, problem with clone, dna module, one half horse

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Cloning The Boss. Dilbert is dressed as a doctor, The Boss is lying on an operation bed. Dilbert says, "There's a problem with your clone." Dilbert continues, "Wally spilled soda on the DNA module. Your clone is one- half horse posterior." Dilbert continues, "And one-half that isn't like you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market expert, buy stock, sell house, track record, one week chart, buy buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags day off, move my home, one hour, negotiate, can't use vehicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags labor market, own paper, unleash hound, broken copier

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a woman at a desk. He asks, "Our copier is broken. May I use yours?" The woman responds, "Only if you use your own paper." Dilbert says, "I just need one copy and my office is about a mile away." The woman replies, "Don't make me unleash the hound." A man wearing dog ear muffs crouches next to the woman. Dilbert asks, "That's a hound?" The woman responds, "Technically he's a web designer in a tight labor market."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags serve food, homeless on christmas, extra hungry, one day, news crews arrive

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags name the restrooms, goddesses and morons, only one, entered contest

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads aloud, "The winner of our 'Name the Restrooms' contest is Alice..." The Boss continues, "...For her suggestion of 'Goddesses' and 'Morons.'" Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "You're right; I was the only one who would enter that ridiculous contest."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags downsized, not one of them, project cancelled, wonder, zombie, offer to walk, boos, fired, let go, shock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in front of The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Your project is cancelled. You'll be downsized in ninety days." The Boss continues, "Until then, feel free to wander around like a zombie." Dilbert walks past coworkers and thinks to himself, "I walk among them but I am not one of them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags man hating supervisor, justify pay, all day meeting, wrong one, meeting, this meeting, door open, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-hating Supervisor. The supervisor asks Wally, "Have any of you men done anything to justify your pay?" Wally responds, "I attended an all-day meeting but later found out I was in the wrong one." The supervisor says, "Actually, you're not supposed to be in this meeting either." Wally replies, "The door was open."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags working model, test plant design, how big, real one, certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."