Original Schedule Comic Strips - Page 11

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111 Results for Original Schedule

View 101 - 110 results for original schedule comic strips. Discover the best "Original Schedule" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

The Government Is Listening

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The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

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Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Managing Your Boss

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Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

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Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Meet At My Office

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Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #schedule, #time, #wasting time, #selfish, #business

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Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Wally Comes In Early

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Wally Comes In Early - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #schedule, #hours, #work, #trick, #deception, #leaving early

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Wally: Can I come in an hour early tomorrow and leave early? Boss: Yeah, okay. Wally: How about five hours early? Boss: Um... sure. Wally: Let's say eight hours early and you won't even see me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #time, #delay, #leaving, #schedule, #inconsiderate

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Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock

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Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

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Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

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Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Second Opinion

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Second Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #clarification, #confusion, #instructions, #leadership, #boss, #flake

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Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.