Poor Job Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

965 Results for Poor Job

View 101 - 110 results for poor job comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Men, #communicate, #only talks, #Sports, #computers, #job, #tv, #sex, #jokes, #greek mythology, #date, #likes, #dislikes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on a date. His date says, "I like men who know how to communicate..." The date says, "But not a man you only talks about sports, or computers, or his job, or tv, or sex, or jokes, or his accomplishments..." Dilbert says, "That would leave... Greek mythology... and you." The date says, "No Greek stuff."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1997's comic on:

Tags #changing, #job titles, #non technical, #sec group, #second class citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1997's comic on:

Tags #career counseling, #job involving sin, #bingo field, #budget work, #no marketing, #no auditing, #no garnet manuafacturing

View Transcript

Transcript

Chil is consulting Dogbert about his career. He says, "I'd be good at any job involving sin." Phil says, "Perhaps something in the bingo field, or maybe budget work." Dogbert suggests, "How about marketing?" Phil frowns, "I have a soul. It's just a small one." Dogbert says, "Gotcha. No marketing... no auditing... no garment manufacturing..."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1997's comic on:

Tags #coached well, #date, #date analyzer, #cubicle fibers, #office job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives for his date. A woman opens the door and Dilbert says, "Grunt, grunt. Absolutely right. Grunt, grunt, grunt." Dilbert says, "Grunt, grunt, grunt." She says, 'Someone coached you well for this date. You haven't said a thing I object to yet." Dilbert is strapped to a huge microscope labled, "Date-alyzer." He says, "Grunt." She stands at the control panel and says, "I see cubicle fibers... you have an office job."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1998's comic on:

Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1998's comic on:

Tags #excellent job, #projects assigned, #fifty hours a day, #adequate, #complete fiduciary misconduct

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to The Boss, "I estimated the hours it would take to do an excellent job on all the projects you've assigned." Alice says, "That would be a fifty hours a day. So I recalculated for 'adequate' results. That would be forty hours per day." Alice says, "Well, to make a long story short, let's skip down to 'complete fiduciary misconduct.'" The Boss holds his hands over his ears and says, "Blah, blah, blah, blah."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1998's comic on:

Tags #letter of refrence, #job in division, #prone to anger and denail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'll need a letter of reference to apply for a job in another division." The Boss sits at his desk and says, "No problem." The Boss writes a letter. It says, "...For a man of his hygiene. He doesn't steal as much as you think. I suspect he's on drugs." The new manager says, "And then he says you're prone to anger and denial. Is that true?" Dilbert is angry and waves his arms in the air and screams, "NO!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1998's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #boss prevents new job, #great job, #outrageous, #bad situation worse, #human resource promise

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil H.R. Director: Dilbert sits in Catbert's office and waves his hands in the air as he says, "My boss is preventing me from transfering to a great job." Catbert says, "That's outrageous! There shouldn't be any great jobs at this company." Dilbert says, "Once again, you've made a bad situation worse." Catbert replies, "That's the human resources promise."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1998's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr directorm not enjoying job, #powerful anti depressant, #prescribe drugs, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Alice says to Catbert, "I'm not enjoying my job." Catbert hands Alice a bottle of pills and says, "Take this powerful anti- depressant drug for the rest of your life." Alice responds, "I didn't know H.R. could prescribe drugs." Catbert says, "I'd hate to live in a world where that was illegal." Alice reads the bottle aloud, "Boss-proof cap."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1998's comic on:

Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."