Raising Hand Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

326 Results for Raising Hand

View 101 - 110 results for raising hand comic strips. Discover the best "Raising Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #motivational speaker, #discount speakers bureau, #work harder, #get fired, #working harder, #slow class

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Alice and their co-workers, "Today we have a motivational speaker from the 'Discount Speakers Bureau.'" A slouching, unhappy man says, "You should, like, work harder . . . Otherwise you might get fired. Any questions?" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Would we get bonuses for working harder?" The speaker says, "This must be the slow class."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #policy, #employ best, #technical professionals, #industry average, #bright, #clueless, #feel sorry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our policy is to employ only the BEST technical professionals." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Isn't it also our policy to base salaries on the 'industry AVERAGE?'" The Boss answers, "Right. We like them bright but clueless." Wally says, "I feel sorry for people like that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1995's comic on:


Tags #team building exercise, #paper dolls, #blindfolded, #cognitive dissonance, #learned something, #cry and hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "In this team-building exercise you will make paper dolls while blindfolded." Dogbert continues, "This may seem absurd. But soon, cognitive dissonance will set in and you'll cry and hug and think you learned something." The members of the group, now blindfolded and working with scissors, begin their work. As he is about to cut his hand with the scissors, Dilbert asks, "Are you sure we'll cry and hug?" Dogbert answers, "Actually, hugging is iffy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #self conscious, #tiny brain, #war wax, #bob the donisoaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I feel self-conscious because my brain is so tiny." Bob continues, "Here, let me reach in my ear and pull it out." Dogbert looks at what Bob is holding in his hand and says, "I think that's ear wax, Bob." Bob replies, "Maybe. But I'm putting it back just in case."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #technical support, #gullible, #optimistic, #buy something, #human being

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #bob, #newest manuver, #turban wedgie, #regular wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the armrest of a couch. Dilbert, with a phone in his hand, says, "I've been on hold for tech support since Tuesday. Get Bob and meet me in the car." Dilbert is driving with Dogbert in the passenger seat. Bob the Dinosaur says from the back seat, "I can't wait to try my newest maneuver, the 'Turban Wedgie.'" Bob is holding the tech support person in the air. The tech support person has a turban on his head. Bob says to Dilbert, "It starts like a regular wedgie then I wrap it around his head." Dilbert says, "Question . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #sitting for boss, #prodcutivity, #efficiency, #queen alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally peers into Dilbert's cubicle and yells, "Alice is sitting in for the boss!" Dilbert stands up, raises both hands in the air and shouts, "Productivity at last!!!" Wally yells, "Efficiency! Yes!!" Inside the cubicle, Wally says, "As long as she doesn't get an attitude . . ." Alice stands outside the cubicle with a crown on her head and a wand in her hand. Someone is bowing in front of her.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alice sits boss, #approve expense voucher, #creature, #eats snacks, #security guard, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #corporate jet pilot, #captain speaking, #land safely, #ceo, #not funny

View Transcript

Transcript

The corporate jet flies through the air. From the cockpit, Dogbert announces, "This is your captain speaking . . ." Dogbert sits at the controls with the microphone in his hand. He continues, "If you'd like to land safely, there's something I've always wanted to see a CEO do." The CEO puts his head out of the airplane window and sticks out his tongue. He thinks, "This is so NOT funny."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #field support people, #inferior technology, #most attractive feamle, #prodcuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a sales rep. As they look through some folders, the woman says, "On one hand, my company does use inferior technology in our products . . ." The salesperson continues, "But on the other hand, I'm the most attractive female who has paid attention to you this year." Dilbert responds angrily, "What kind of engineers do you think we are??!" Wally asks, "Do you have pictures of your field support people?"