Rip Off Arms Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

749 Results for Rip Off Arms

View 101 - 110 results for rip off arms comic strips. Discover the best "Rip Off Arms" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team building exercise, #left die, #crying, #shake it off, #boss, #apathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

"You said it was a team-building exercise and you left me in the middle of the desert to die!" "Shake it off." "You wouldn't think that would work, but it does!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sing or dance, #resigned, #huge resignation, #manifesto, #video clips, #humorous sound files, #website, #broadway theater prodcution, #first motivated employee, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #engineers, #engineering question, #holiday lights, #homeless guy, #catapult, #satellite map, #fell off roof, #flight oath, #neighbors pool, #broken leg, #heartless

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #worms, #bad apple, #ruining everyone, #walk it off, #contagious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The bad apple you hired is ruining the rest of us. Boss: Just walk it off, you big baby. I want solutions, not problems. Ouch! Stupid bad apple! Dilbert: Walk it off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gratitude, #lay offs, #seven engineers, #trying to succeed, #gratutude, #pressure off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I had to lay off seven engineers and... I need you to pick up those functions. Dilbert: Wow! I feel a weight has been lifted from my chest. Now that my failure is guaranteed, I no longer feel the stress of trying to succeed! I don't know how to thank you for this. Boss: This didn't go the way I hoped.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #investors, #bought helicopter, #birds off building, #parking lot, #beaks and feathers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO The Boss says, "Our investors are not happy that you bought a helicopter." The Boss says, "Or that you only use it to keep birds off the building." The Boss says, "Or that the parking lot is filling up with beaks and feathers." Dogbert says, "I can't please everyone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cancel project, #office politics, #boss, #bald, #goatee, #children, #staff, #let off steam, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Executive says, "I'm going to cancel your project because my predecessor supported it." Executive says, "And I'll need a list of any children he fathered with the staff. It's best if you don't ask why." The Boss says, "I don't think he?" Executive says, "We all do. It's how we let off steam."