Ruined Career Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

193 Results for Ruined Career

View 101 - 110 results for ruined career comic strips. Discover the best "Ruined Career" comics from Dilbert.com.

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

View more books now

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #ted talk, #idiots, #dumb, #career, #change, #smart, #possible, #speak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Thankless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Decisions Without Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #business, #time, #compile, #facts, #guess, #career

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hypocrisy, #open door policy, #suggestions, #not importnat, #extra work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #meetings, #six variables, #4 imbeciles, #brilliant engineer, #complexity algorithm, #rational deciosn, #brilliant career

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Okay, this next decision involves six variables, four imbeciles, and one brilliant engineer. According to the Dogbert complexity algorithm, it is impossible to make a rational decision in this situation. All in favor of giving up? Boss: I found out I'm a brilliant engineer.