Secret Comic Strips - Page 11

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120 Results for Secret

View 101 - 110 results for secret comic strips. Discover the best "Secret" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping

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Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags identity, hacker, hacking, government, manhunt, technology, money, ruse, trick, greed, betrayal

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Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.

Hire Smarter People

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Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, success, insult, power, compliment, backhanded compliment, ego, humility, humble

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CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags character, behavior, role model, mentor, secret, psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, credit, motivation, obliviousness, hiring, logic, business

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Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Haircut Illuminati

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Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success

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Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

Hairdresser Illuminati

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 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control

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The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.

Closer To Being A Terrorist

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Closer To Being A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Religion, logic, terrorism, terrorist, radicalization, extremism, fbi, interrogation

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FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

Elbonian Messenger

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Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, security, national security, information, human error, spying, encryption, technology, trust, espionage

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Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, keeping secrets, deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.