Several Options Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

145 Results for Several Options

View 101 - 110 results for several options comic strips. Discover the best "Several Options" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boost earnings, #mass exodus, #doorway jam

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit on either side of the Boss at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're cutting back on advertising to increase earnings." Dilbert quickly turns and says, "Um...Excuse me. I'll be right back." Wally says, "Me too." There are several people piled in the doorway, stuck. A man announces into a walkie-talkie, "We got another mass exodus doorway jam."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #electrician, #fix furnace, #invention, #plumber, #roofer, #space time continuum, #carpenter, #fix furnace 1991

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #new personlaity, #non standard, #approved corporate personalities, #sycophants glad hander, #sadist, #prima donna, #empty suit, #whining misfit, #spec sheet, #dialoque

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #charging time, #projects, #no work, #wind, #existence of your wind, #farting around

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #democracy, #government, #lobbying, #Politics, #middle east, #oil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You're in luck. I've lobbied the governments of several countries to attack your country and liberate you and your oil. Man: We're already a democratic country! You're confusing us with North Elbonia! Dogbert: For a nitpicker, you sure dress poorly.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

My soul-o-meter is picking up a reincarnated soul. It looks like you had several previous lives. "I'll cauterize your head so your soul stays in your dead body next time." zzzt!!! "Because I can."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #decisons, #office, #options, #blame later, #evil, #record on phone. boss, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #frustration, #design, #specs, #deadlines, #schedule, #incompetence

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Did you finish the design according to my specs? Dilbert: Yep. Coworker: Hypothetically, if I had forgotten to mention several features, would that be a problem? And let's say the deadline is still the same. Dilbert: No problem. I always plan my schedule around your incompetence.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."