Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

499 Results for Shake Hands

View 101 - 110 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, rude, dry cleaning, while you wait, sign

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a counter under a sign that says, "Dry cleaning while you wait." He hands the woman behind the counter some clothing. The clerk says, "We'll have it done in three days." Dilbert says, "The sign says 'while you wait.'" The woman asks, "Do you think you'll stop waiting after two days?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cars, clean, letters, express, outrage, editor, Funny, pages, sarcasm, children, Dilbert, Dogbert, time

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, creativity, consultant, final, report, company, doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my final report on your company." Dogbert continues, "I've concluded that you're doomed. You waste too much money on consultants." The Boss replies, "You're a consultant." Dogbert asks, "Ironic, isn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, money, engineer, easy, responsibility, math

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the checkout counter. The clerk at the cash register says, "That's $1.89." Dilbert hands him money and says, "Just for simplicity, I'll give you $7.14." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "As an engineer, I feel a professional reponsibility to make things easy for people." The cashier looks confused as he thinks, ". . . Carry the three."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, employers, form, election, rescind, opposite, action, declining, reverse, inclination, discontinue, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a form and says, "All employees must fill out this form." Dilbert reads, "Employee election to not rescind the opposite action of declining the reverse inclination to not discontinue employment with the company." Dilbert asks, "You're trying to trick us into quitting, aren't you?" The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use ink."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dilbert, prejudiced, curiosity, insulted, experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, handle, kiss, hand shake, debbie, filibuster, movies, economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, patent, ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert hands Dilbert a book and says, "I thought of another way to profit from the ignorance of humans." Dogbert explains, "I wrote 'The Dogbert Formula for Health.' I recommend a daily dose of food, sleep and exercise." Dogbert says, "And for only $19.95 you can buy the patented 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' to help you run in place."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, zimbu the monkey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, taxes, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair and hands Dilbert a form. Dogbert says, "Here are the Dogbert tax forms. Pay promptly or you will be penalized." Dilbert says, "It's not fair!" Dilbert says, "You can't just levy your own taxes; what makes you think I'll pay?" Dogbert replies, "If not, I'll put you in my new prison." Dilbert says, "You mean, you built a prison with the taxes you've already collected?" Dogbert replies, "I think of it as 'infrastructure.'"