Shareholder Meeting Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

946 Results for Shareholder Meeting

View 101 - 110 results for shareholder meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Shareholder Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags primitive, donut scavenging man, yellow sticky notes, humiliation, live off land, bountiful harvest, dance to gods, meeting notices

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert and Alice walk out of a conference room. Wally says, "That's four hours that I'd like to have back." Dilbert asks, "Who called that meeting anyway?" Dilbert says, "I must have left my calendar in there." Dilbert walks into the room and sees a man grabbing doughnuts from a plate on the conference table. Dilbert says, "I've discovered a primitive donut-scavenging man clad only in yellow sticky notes!!" The man says, "I was once like you, before the great rif." The man continues, "But rather than leave in humiliation I decided to stay and live off the land like our proud ancestors." The man says as he dances, "To ensure a bountiful harvest I do my donut dance to the gods." The man continues, "When that doesn't work I distribute meeting notices." Dilbert shouts, "YOU're the one!!"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysis, worked all night, vital, meeting, excellent work, alice, backup material, performance review cycle, naked body threat to boss, cheap suit, fling, business, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dread, staff meeting, describe accomplishments, amazing success, wally ville, ass fell asleep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss thinks, "I dread this part of the staff meeting." The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and describe our accomplishments for the week. Wally?" Wally replies, "It was another week of amazing success in Wallyville." Wally continues, "On Monday I realized my left bun had fallen asleep." Wally continues, "I was shocked. The 'Boys' had always worked as a team before." Wally leans to the side and continues, "Thinking quickly, I shifted my weight to my right bun and hoped for the best." Alice says, "That's your left side, not your right." Wally replies, "That's the other thing; apparently the boys switched sides sometime during the night." The Boss covers his face with his hands.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fake acronyms, staff meeting, straight face, action items, cod meeting, marketing, could lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands Dilbert and Alice a document. Wally says, "Here's your list of fake acronyms for the staff meeting." Wally says, "Try to keep a straight face when you use them." The Boss puts his hand on a stack of paper and says, "I've got a few action items. Who isn't busy?" Wally replies, "I'd be all over it but I need to prepare a BTR for the CPD meeting." Alice says, "I'd love to help but this is XRP week for the entire LBQ." Dilbert says, "My SP00 has too much fleem." Alice growls at Dilbert and Wally glares at him. Dilbert asks, "What?" They carry stacks of documents out of the conference room. Wally says, "That was smooth." Dilbert replies, "Hey, if I could lie I'd be in marketing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cancelled meeting, dilmom, effort, glass half full, made extra money, no over time pay, not funded, not important work, optimitic, power point slides worse, wast of time, waste of enery, worked till midnight, dilberts mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert helps his mom with her coat. Dilbert says, "As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom." Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least you made some extra money." Dilbert puts his jacket on. Dilbert says, "I don't get paid for over-time." Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom take a walk. Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least it was important work." Dilbert says, "Not really." Dilbert says, "My boss made me change my "Power-point" slides, but the changes made them worse." Mom says, "Well. at least you're prepared for you meeting." Dilbert says, "It was canceled." Dilbert and Mom seen in the distance. Dilbert says, "But that's okay, because the project isn't funded anyway." Mom says, "So....you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist?" Dilbert says, "Yup." Mom says, "Well...at least you could travel back in time without having any impact on history." Dilbert says, "Yeah, my glass is half full."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags variance im depreciation, four hour meeting, stale dount, nothing to report, wasted donut, threw donut, meeting, everyone alseep, business

View Transcript

Transcript

A presenter says, ".. Now let's look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our four hour meeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "Uf he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice thinks, "I spent a whole week preparing my presentation." Alice realizes, "Everyone else is already asleep." Alice plans, "My only hope is to stun the presenter with a stale donut." Presenter points to a chart and says, "As you can see, there's nothing to report." A donut heads for the back of the presenter's head." Alice thinks, "I wasted a donut." Everyone around her is sleeping.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, technical questions, ventriloquism, ip router, suppository configuration, boss move lips, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wally report, hair grow long, ponytail, artistic side, collect coffee mugs, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert and the boss sit in a meeting. Wally's hair shoots up on either side of his bald spot. Wally says, "In this week's "Wally Report, " I've decided to let my hair grow long in the back." Wally says, "Eventually, I'll put it in a ponytail to show I have an artistic side." The boss says, "What's your artitstic side?" Wally says, "I collect coffee mugs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting moth, attracted to meetings, resist the urge, beat myself, senseless, sense off purpose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert in his co-workers sit in the conference room. The meeting moth approaches and thinks, "The 'meeting moth' is attracted to all meetings." Wally and Dilbert sit as the meeting moth enters the room. He says, "Excuse me. I can't resist the urge to beat myself senseless on your table." Dilbert and Wally stand and watch as the meeting moth climbs on the table and begins to bang it's head and body on it. Wally says, "You have to envy his sense of purpose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting moth, wool clothes, participants, moth eaten clothes, empty stomach

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks cursing. His clothing is chewed to bits. Alice also curses. her clothing also has large bites taken out of it. The meeting moth walks with his mouth full and his hands full of cloth. The moth thinks, "A "meeting moth" should never go to a meeting on an empty stomach."