Social Media Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

204 Results for Social Media

View 101 - 110 results for social media comic strips. Discover the best "Social Media" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finances, violence, Dilbert, christmas, social, life, mortgage, gift, hat, sale, yule, log

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags speaks with author, Comic Strip, burned out, funny everyday, books, media, speaking, book signing, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "At the conference" Dilbert gets the cartoonist signing line. He tells cartoonist, "I liked your talk about your comic strip. Do you fell burned out?" Cartoonist hands signed book back to Dilbert who says, "You have to be funny every day. Then there are the books, the media, the speaking. So much stress.." Cartoonist has now run off.. People behind Dilbert are aannoyed. Dilbert says, "Oops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags editable wax fruit, live at desk, no social life, social activity, vending machine food, marketing network

View Transcript

Transcript

During a staff meeting, The Boss says, "It has come to my attention that one of you has a social life." Wally says, "There must be some mistake." The Boss says, "We can't be successful until our social lives are worse than the industry average." He stands up and says, "Our competitors spend the nights in their cubicles. They eat from vending machines." The Boss walks behind Wally, Dilbert and Alice. He says, "Someone here has not shown the same level of competetive spirit." The Boss grabs Asok by the collar and says, "Someone had a social activity last night!" Asok cries, "I'm sorry! I thought they were friends... but they were only recruiting for a multi-level marketing network!!!" Dilbert says, "What were they selling?" Asok says, "Edible wax fruit. Brochure?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tina tech writer, inventing stories, bizarre workplace crimes, media, kick start, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Tina the tech writer." Tina holds a paper under her arm. Tina stands at The Bosses desk and says, "I grew tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter." The Boss reads paper. Tina says, 'So I started inventing stories of bizarre work-place crimes." The Boss reads and looks surprised. Tina says, "Sometimes we in the media have to give the copycat criminals a little kick start."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social misfits, keep him away, normal people, engineering liason

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, monday morning, travel all day, stealing life, reschedule, social plans, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags investment baker, hired wesel, media questions, stock holders, good for stcokholders, parking lot

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boost revenues, offshore, subsidary, lie to media, criminal activity, gag a rat, corruption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob the Dinosaur are meeting. Dogbert says, "We'll artificially boost revenues by selling to our own offshore subsidiary." Dogbert continues, "Then we'll book our expenses to capital, lie to the media about our prospects, bribe an industry analyst, and cash out!" Ratbert grabs his own throat and gags, "Aak, Aak, Aak." Dogbert says, "I know I'm doing something right when my business practices gag a rat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags makes me happy, exoskleton, bad job, social life, chemicals, illusion, engineer, soul, therapy, psychology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil hr director, hire, job interview, urine sample, social secuirty, past emplyers, past lovers, despicable

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to an interviewee, "I need to check a few things before we hire you." Catbert continues, "Give me blood, hair and urine samples, fingerprints, social- security number, past employers, and past lovers." The Boss and Catbert are meeting. The Boss is looking over the interviewee's records. The Boss asks, "Before we started doing all of this checking, did you know that everyone in the world was despicable?" Catbert replies, "Yes."