Super Model Comic Strips - Page 11
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109 Results for Super Model
View 101 - 109 results for super model comic strips. Discover the best "Super Model" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 05,
2016
Drone Defense Kills Birds
Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage
Transcript
Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.
Sunday August 28,
2016
Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.
Tuesday December 06,
2016
Ted Gets A New Phone
Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.
Thursday December 08,
2016
Ceo Fixes His Problem
Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology
Transcript
CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.
Sunday June 17,
2018
Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?
Tuesday February 12,
2019
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient
Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere
Transcript
Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Monday December 23,
2019
Ship Without Manual
Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy
Transcript
dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.
Monday May 04,
2020
Elbonian Spy
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #face mask, #coronavirus, #spy, #foreigner, #data, #security, #racist, #excuse
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: our data security team informs me we have an elbonian spy in our midst. dilbert wearing face mask: maybe it's this elbonian guy you hired. elbonian wearing face mask: whoa, that is super racist. dilbert: is it you? elbonian: yes, but i don't see how that excuses you.