Team Players Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
220 Results for Team Players
View 101 - 110 results for team players comic strips. Discover the best "Team Players" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 20,
2018
Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs
Tags #flirting, #implementation, #new rules, #shoulder rub, #sock collar, #team spirit
Transcript
CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.
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Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
Monday April 16,
2018
The Losing Team
Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.
Thursday May 17,
2018
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses
Transcript
Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.
Tuesday October 16,
2018
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Tuesday August 27,
2019
Skipping Teambuilding
Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team
Transcript
Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.
Friday June 19,
2020
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety
Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team
Transcript
Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.
Thursday September 24,
2020
Tina's Soul
Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask
Transcript
tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.
Friday September 25,
2020
Karma Is Real
Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.