Travel Expenses Comic Strips - Page 11

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115 Results for Travel Expenses

View 101 - 110 results for travel expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Travel Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Travelling Broadens Worldview

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Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview

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Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #meeting, #tardiness, #punctual, #badmouth, #business

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Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

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Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

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Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

The Virus Afterlife

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The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical

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Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.

Food Poisoning On Trip

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Food Poisoning On Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work

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Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Re Accomodation On The Flight

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Re Accomodation On The Flight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight

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Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

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Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

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Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

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Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.