Travel Expenses Comic Strips - Page 11
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115 Results for Travel Expenses
View 101 - 110 results for travel expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Travel Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
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Friday September 23,
2016
Travelling Broadens Worldview
Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview
Transcript
Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.
Sunday October 09,
2016
Tags #insult, #meeting, #tardiness, #punctual, #badmouth, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.
Tuesday November 08,
2016
The Virus Afterlife
Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.
Thursday November 24,
2016
Food Poisoning On Trip
Tags #misery, #suffering, #travel, #health, #work
Transcript
Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.
Saturday November 26,
2016
Airport Scanners
Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel
Transcript
CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.
Wednesday May 17,
2017
Re Accomodation On The Flight
Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight
Transcript
Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.
Thursday May 18,
2017
Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert
Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service
Transcript
Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.
Sunday June 25,
2017
Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science
Transcript
Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.