Uniformed Decisions Comic Strips - Page 11

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114 Results for Uniformed Decisions

View 101 - 110 results for uniformed decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Uniformed Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Year Resolution

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New Year Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags holidays, new year, sarcasm, weight, new year's resolutions

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Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.

Post Mortem

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Post Mortem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, project, idiots

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the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.

Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner

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Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, career, information, office, problem

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the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.

Magazine Article

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Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, publication, salesman, advertisement, best, company, decision

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magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Decisions Without Data

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Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, managers & supervisors, business, time, compile, facts, guess, career

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dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

Ai For Management Decisoins

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Ai For Management Decisoins - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, smart speaker, artificial intelligence, management, bug

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Dilbert: i upgraded our a.i. prototype to make management decisions. smart speaker: slay the weak dilbert: i think that's a bug. boss: hold on. let's hear it out.

Pick Midpoint

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Pick Midpoint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, projections, accurate, random, guess, midpoint, decision

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bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.