Used Another Room Comic Strips - Page 11
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"Welcome to the competitive strategies seminar." "First, some housekeeping. In the event of an emergency, stay seated so I'll have a clear path to the exit." "And... there is no men's room in the building as far as you know."
Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."
The Boss: Kudos to Ted for his suggestion to put motion sensors on the lights in the break room. Dilbert: Hold it! I calculate that the energy savings are offset by the lost productivity of the meeting. The Boss: We have to burn the plaque for heat just to break even.
Robot: I told Wally he could use my body for telepresence. He's coming online now. Wally: Greetings, carbon-based units. I come to you from the third stall in the men's room. Boss: This is what happens when our techhnology evolves faster than our etiquette.
The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"
Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We've installed surveillance cameras to monitor your work." Catbert says, "It might seem like an unconscionable assault on your privacy, but you'll get used to it." Wally says, "I'm already a little bit used to it." Dilbert says, "Used to what?"