Vacation Day Comic Strips - Page 11
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The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally enters and says, "I was here all night. Is it okay if I take tomorrow as a comp day?" The Boss replies, "According to our security video, you slept all night on a pile of debris in your cubicle." Wally replies, "Is it just me or is this conversation jumping all over the place?"
Headline: Asok works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "If we eliminate vacation days and increase sick days..." Catbert continues, "Would the employees fall for our trap and make themselves sick to get days off?" Asok exclaims, "What?!!" Catbert says, "You're in H.R. now. It's okay to be evil." Asok replies, "Evil, right."
Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."
Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day." Dogbert continues, "But if you teach a man to fish, he will buy an ugly hat." Dogbert continues, "And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you're a consultant."
The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Here are some projects to finish before your last day." Dilbert responds, "But.. I'll have to interact with people who know I've been downsized." The Boss replies, "Hee Hee!" A coworker mocks Dilbert, "I'll get this information to you right away. Is ninety days soon enough?"
Headline: Man-hating Supervisor. The supervisor asks Wally, "Have any of you men done anything to justify your pay?" Wally responds, "I attended an all-day meeting but later found out I was in the wrong one." The supervisor says, "Actually, you're not supposed to be in this meeting either." Wally replies, "The door was open."
Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "The bad news is that I had to get rid of our marketing department." Catbert continues, "The good news is that we have tons of nondairy creamer!" Dilbert and Wally are drinking coffee. Dilbert asks, "Do you think those two things are related?" Wally replies, "If they are, I'm cutting back to five cups a day."
Tina approaches Dilbert with her arms and face stiff. She says, "Someone accused me of having hostile body language." Tina continues, "I'm not allowed to cross my arms or stare or move my eyebrows or frown." Tina walks past and says, "Have a nice day." Dilbert responds, "Too late."
The Boss says to Alice, "This weekend I cleaned out my tool shed." Alice hits a stop watch, "Click." The Boss asks, "What's that for?" Alice responds, "I keep a running tally of how much of my time you waste." The Boss continues, "...And I thought it was a frozen snake but it was actually a shovel!" Alice looks at her clock and mutters, "Five years, one day."