Voice Mailbox Comic Strips - Page 11
145 Results for Voice Mailbox
View 101 - 110 results for voice mailbox comic strips. Discover the best "Voice Mailbox" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 15, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."
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Share April 09, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the Boss' desk in his office and the Boss says to him, "Fly to Austin and answer some questions for a big customer." Dilbert asks, "Doesn't this customer have a telephone?" The Boss replies in shock as he thrusts his arms out to the side. "You don't call big customers!" Obviously confused, Dilbert aks "Um...why not?" In an exasperated voice, The Boss replies "You have to go in person to show that you care." Still not catching on, Dilbert replies "Actually, that would show that I didn't understand the concept of the telephone.? Now completely disgusted, The Boss replies "Just go." Dilbert is now sitting at a table with Ted who holds a phone in his hand and asks, "Do they have these where you come from?"
Share June 25, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I'm grossly underpaid. I want a raise." The Boss replies, "Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert." Dilbert responds, " What? What? What?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "People don't work here for money." The Boss continues in an enthused voice. "They work here for the challenge!" Dilbert answers, "If challenges are more valuable than money..." Dilbert continues, "Why don't you give me your money and I'll give you my challenges." After a moment of silence, Dilbert says "Well?" The Boss thinks to himself, "I must kill him before he infects the others."
Share October 09, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I'm putting you on a project with Loud Howard, Topper and the new guy who loves the sound of his own voice. Dilbert: Is it because you hate me? Boss: Not at all. It's because I hate the other three guys.
Share August 26, 2008's comic on:
Sitting There Wally thinks, "Leaning? What's that got to do with sitting?" Wally thinks, "I remember when Sitting There meant something. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." A voice says, "Frankly, we ran out of things to say about sitting." Wally says, "I find that hard to believe!"
Share May 24, 2010's comic on:
Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"
Share February 10, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"
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The boss says, "Finish this project in two weeks." The boss says, "And make sure you get input from all the executive stakeholders." Dilbert says, "That's impossible." The boss says, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Let's call one of the ten stakeholders and I'll show you." Beep beep This is Ed Bigston's voice mail. I'm not available...ever. I am either on vacation, or sick, or traveling, or in a meeting. I do not check e-mail or return phone calls. Like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being. Despair is your only option. The boss says, "Try faxing him."
Share February 09, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My new design will meet all of our customers' current and future needs." The Boss is sitting with two board members, one male and one female. The male board member says, "That's no good; they'll never need to upgrade." Dilbert responds, "Please don't ask me to put flaws in my design." The Boss says, "Flaws could work." The male board member says, "We need flaws." The female board member says, "Flaws, flaws, flaws." Dilbert grabs his tie in fear and says, "Please.... No....." The Boss says, "Make it freeze every hour." The male board member says, "The interface needs to be more confounding." The female board member raises her finger and says, "And..." Headline: Later. Dilbert is on the floor begging, "Please... No more." A voice from the meeting continues, "... And crippling electric shocks." Headline: Much, much later. The Boss says, "The help screen could recommend marrying an unemployed, shirtless guy with a mullet." The male board member responds, "That's marketing!"