2017 Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
Tuesday April 11,
2017
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix
Tags jargon, language, matrix, communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...
Wednesday April 12,
2017
Dilbert Red Pills Asok
Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality
Transcript
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Thursday April 13,
2017
Wally Moves Into Bathroom Stall
Friday April 14,
2017
3 D Printer Will Save Millions
Tags altruism, money, profit, big business, priorities, morals, life
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.
Saturday April 15,
2017
Bug In The Platform
Tags work ethic, excuse, laziness, proof
Transcript
Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.
Sunday April 16,
2017
Tags waiter, restaurant, service industry, impatient, patience, complaining
Transcript
Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.
Monday April 17,
2017
Wally Volunteers For Vr Project
Tags vr, virtual reality, nap, sleeping, work, laziness, work ethic, deception
Transcript
Wally: I'd like to work on the VR headset project on top of my other duties. Boss: That's weird. You've never volunteered for extra work before. Wally: People change. Boss: Or not.
Tuesday April 18,
2017
Wally's Sleep Vr
Tags vr, virtual reality, sleeping, nap, deception, technology
Transcript
Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?
Wednesday April 19,
2017
Evil Orc
Thursday April 20,
2017
Vr Cubicle
Tags virtual reality, office, cubicle, fantasy, illusion
Transcript
Boss: We're going to use our VR technology to take over the cubicle business. Write a program that makes users feel as if they are working in a fabric-covered box. Dilbert: Maybe we should think outside the box. Boss: Stop resisting change.


