Disgruntled Underling Book Comic Strips - Page 12

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171 Results for Disgruntled Underling Book

View 111 - 120 results for disgruntled underling book comic strips. Discover the best "Disgruntled Underling Book" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #analysts, #got a raise, #growth, #lazy ones, #open book management, #smooth earnigs, #stock market, #money

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #open book management, #debt, #equity ratio, #sweeping, #broom, #carpets

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The janitor stands behind Alice at her workstation and says, "... then I sez, "Hey our debt to equity ratio is increasing." The janitor sweeps his broom through the air. "I lept into action and started seeping like I've never swept before!" The janitor says, "Then I sez, 'Hey, why am I using a broom on carpets?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #alice, #space, #computer, #office, #case study, #todd, #allen, #Men

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Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #remember name, #buddy, #big guy, #name tag

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Dilbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dogbert sits facing Dilbert. Dogbert says, "I'm finding it a burden to remember your name." Dogbert says, "From now on, I'll refer to you as either "buddy" or "big guy".' Dilbert says, "How about if I get a name tag? Then you could just read it." Dogbert says, "Do I look like I have that kind of time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #set up date, #super model, #scary looking, #skeleton, #dogbert warns dilbert

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Dogbert sits on the couch reading a book. Dilbert says, "I set up a date with the supermodel I met on the internet." Dogbert says, "Supermodels don't look good in person." Dilbert says, "That's silly." Dilbert stands at the supermodels open door. Dilbert holds flowers. The supermodel is a skeleton with a little hair. The supermodel says, "I don't know how to use a vase. Do you mind if I throw those in the trash?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #training, #big binder, #training forgotten, #binder last forever, #living monument, #temporary knowledge, #cubcile, #approve funding, #free up funds, #training budget

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Wally sticks his head into the boss' office. Wally says, "I'm back from training." Wally says, "I got a big binder." Wally holds out a big book. Wally says, "The training is already forgotten but the binder will last forever." Wally brings the binder to his chest. Wally says, "A living monument to temporary knowledge!" Wally says, "I'll put it in my cubicle with the others." Wally says, "Speaking of my cubicle, which direction is it?" The Boss points. Wally says, "Okay, thanks. That information should be in a binder." Dilbert says, "Did he approve funding for our project?" Wally says, "Not yet. Step one was to free up funds from the training budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technical questions, #ventriloquism, #ip router, #suppository configuration, #boss move lips, #business

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #all the copies, #bestseller, #house as colleral, #dump, #pay back, #dogbert gets loan

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Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #requirements, #documents, #guess weight, #multi user, #global system

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Wally holds a huge book. A woman smiles at him. Wally says, "Your requirements document is the biggest I've never seen." Wally shakes the book and says, "It's too big to read, butI can guess from its weight what miust be in there." The woman says, "You know it's multi-user. global system, right?" Wally says, "No, I'm not getting that."