Conference Calls From Mens Room Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for conference calls from mens room comic strips. Discover the best "Conference Calls From Mens Room" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineering conference, #most valuable asset, #decline, #overtime, #assets decline, #fine art, #every year, #louve, #certification of depreciation, #earned your air

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The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting moth, #attracted to meetings, #resist the urge, #beat myself, #senseless, #sense off purpose

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Dilbert in his co-workers sit in the conference room. The meeting moth approaches and thinks, "The 'meeting moth' is attracted to all meetings." Wally and Dilbert sit as the meeting moth enters the room. He says, "Excuse me. I can't resist the urge to beat myself senseless on your table." Dilbert and Wally stand and watch as the meeting moth climbs on the table and begins to bang it's head and body on it. Wally says, "You have to envy his sense of purpose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

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Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quick call, #continue, #presentation, #ignore, #vice presidentail, #pile of money, #capital spending, #small phone

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Dilbert stands in front of a conference room. A man's cell phone rings and he says, "Continue with your presentation while I take this quick call." Dilbert says, "Go ahead and ignore me, you vice presidential pile of stinkin' monkey.." The man says, "Okay, bye." Dilbert says, "Crapital spending." The man says, "Look how small my phone is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #volume tcalls, #tech support calls, #on hold music, #ballon rub, #driving getaway car

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The boss says, "We've reduced the volume of technical support calls.." The boss says, "By replacing our "on hold" music with the sound that balloons make when you rub them." Wally says, "Do you ever feel like we're driving the getaway car?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #hammerhead bob, #lunch, #clean room, #speak louder, #tables

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Caption: "Hammerhead Bob" A man with a hammer for head says, to Alice and Tina , "Are you going to lunch? I'll join you!" Hammerhead Bob, Alice and Tina sit at a table. Alice and Tina are in pain. Boob says, "...And that's why it's called a "clean room." But how clean is it really?" Bob says, "I'll speal louder in case the other table want in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #emplyees, #org limbo, #return calls, #revised org chart, #beautiful

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Dilbert, Dogbert and the boss are sitting at a small round table. Dogbert is wearing a turban with a quarter-moon on it. He says, "I can contact employees who are in org-limbo." Alice appears beside them standing and saying, "Hello-o-o! Why doesn't anyone return my calls?" Dogbert is holding up a chart in front of Alice and shouts, "Come toward the revised chart, Alice!" Alice says, "It's so beautiful!" Dilbert and the boss, run off scared.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #designing call center, #eployees, #bathroom breaks, #tiny cubicles, #monitor calls, #speed, #customer service

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Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #volume calls, #dead, #beaten down, #inhumane, #punish, #being cheerful

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Designing a Call Center Dilbert: If the employees get the svolume of calls per day they will wish they were dead. Dilbert But they won't be dead, just too beaten down to look for better jobs. Dilbert: I dont know how to make it any more inhumane. The Boss: we can punish them for not being cheerful.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #data minig, #another message, #stealing lunches, #refigerator, #break room, #pudding

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Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.