Coworker Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

239 Results for Coworker

View 111 - 120 results for coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ambulance chaser, cometition, rumor, salvage assets, talented coworker, new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags breaks down, cries, date, endless stories, huge defects, restaurant, series of stoires, soul crushed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinner date, interesting story, self aware, build an army, killer robots

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, soul, lost, google search, ritual sacrifice, no pupils, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok Lost His Soul Asok says, "We can improve our Google search ranking with key words, inbound links and?" Asok says, "?Ritual sacrifice of a?" Asok says, "I think it's down to you or me." Coworker says, "What are you implying?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags load calcs, remind, monday, determined, forget, remember, fist, hiding day, good luck, hallway, standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, I need your load calcs by Tuesday." Wally says, "Remind me on Monday." Coworker says, "You're hoping I won't remember to remind you. Then you'll say it's my fault." Coworker says, "But I will remember, and I will remind you." Wally says, "Good luck. Monday is my hiding day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, request, people, project, generic advice, sitting at desk, tail wagging, hate, angry, replace, inspire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, coworker, software, product, sitting, technical issue, understand, terms, comprehension level, human, squirrel, anvil, awkward, community college, business, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical issue, coworker, sitting in chairs, facing each other, software, yell, condescend, stupid, dumb, dense, shout, sitting on couch, touchy, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, document, attachment, attitude, cross arms, care about time, pay stub, smile, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Did you review the document I emailed?" Coworker says, "I don't read attachments." Coworker says, "Attachments say you don't care enough about my time to summarize a document." Dilbert says, "I brought my pay stub to prove that my time is worth more than yours." Coworker says, "Well-played."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, email, laptop, boring, time suck hole, yell, thorough, play music, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"