Emperor Has No Clothes Comic Strips - Page 12
1000 Results for Emperor Has No Clothes
View 111 - 120 results for emperor has no clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Emperor Has No Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert stands at a counter talking to a police officer. Dilbert, who has a bump on his head, says, "I was mugged, but I got a good look at him." The officer says, "I'll get a police artist." Dilbert and the police artist sit at a table. The artist sketches as Dilbert says, ". . . A big head, and kind of a frightened expression . . ." Dilbert looks at the drawing and says, "Perfect. Looks just like me. Now let's do the mugger. He was sort of off to the left here."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "My computer has determined the funniest words in the world . . ." Dilbert continues, "They include: chainsaw, weasel, prune and any reference to 'Gilligan's Island.' Now I can make my own jokes!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So then the skipper gets attacked by this prune-eating weasel with a chainsaw . . ." Dogbert laughs.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I was rewarded today for perfect attendance at work." Dogbert asks, "What do you get?" Dilbert answers, "A day off with pay." Dogbert says, "It's a miracle your species has survived this long."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Maybe since you're full of static electricity, you should say 'it is useless to be a resistor.' Hee-hee-hee." Dogbert's fur is standing up. Dogbert zaps Dilbert with an electric shock. Clouds of smoke rise from Dilbert's head and his clothes are charred. Dogbert says as he walks away, "Nothing annoys the 'Dog of Thunder' quite as much as nerd puns."
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."
Dilbert and an enormous woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert shakes as he asks, "Y-y-you m-m-mean ALL of your ex-boyfriends disappeared without a trace?" Janet replies, "Yeah. It's the strangest thing . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, she must have eaten them!!" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So while she was sucking the cheesecake off the dessert cart, I dove out the window." Dilbert's clothes are ripped and his head is bandaged.
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Did you hear that the tiny east European country of Elbonia has abandoned communism?" Dogbert replies, "Whoa! Big changes ahead." The caption says, "Elbonia: Monday." A pig and a man sit in the mud on a mud farm. The caption says, "Elbonia: Tuesday." The pig wears a sign that says, "My pig," the man wears a sign that says, "My feet."
Dilbert, who has no head, walks up to Dogbert and asks, "Dogbert, could you give me a hand?" Dogbert says, "Paw." Dilbert points to his missing head and explains, "I pulled a loose thread on my shirt and my head got sucked into my torso." Dilbert asks, "What should we do?" Dogbert replies, "This might be a good time for a family portrait."
Dilbert stands in a supermarket aisle looking at a box of tissue. Dilbert thinks, "Every single tissue box has a feminine design." Dilbert thinks, "Men have noses too. This is sexist. I can't support this practice." Back at home, Dilbert puts the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. Dogbert asks, "Sandpaper?" Dilbert replies, "I had to make a statement."